What are you tolerating?
Aug. 28th, 2009 09:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
saffronhareA really interesting article from the website called Creaky Joints, originally posted to LJ by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
capriciouslass. I thought it was a very interesting and useful reminder, and wanted to share/save it here too. Please to forgive the slap-dash pasting of things, rather than actual link-fu.
http://www.creakyjoints.org/columns/ethereal-cereal/2009/08/25/what-are-you-tolerating
What Are You Tolerating?
by Dr. Laurie Ferguson — last modified Aug 25, 2009 04:56 PM
For every undone project and every jam-packed clutter zone, we pay a price. A tiny bit of energy drains out. If you are tolerating lots of things, your energy deficit may be larger than your energy credit.Every morning when I turn on my computer and boot up my e-mail, a lovely post appears from a fiery woman named Danielle LaPorte. Her blog is titled White Hot Truth and I never know what will show up -- a song, a quote, a poem, a musing.
Today it was a simple question written in large script across the page:
What are you tolerating?
Isn't that a great question?
We tolerate so many things, letting them accumulate on the edges -- and sometimes even in the center of our lives. Unanswered letters, cluttered desks and drawers, cars that need to be fixed, freezers that overflow so we can't get one more thing in them. All of these are irritating tolerations that distract us a hundred times a day.
Then there are the larger, more insidious tolerations. We tolerate thoughts that eat up our precious energy: "I can't, it doesn't matter, it's not worth the effort."
We allow ourselves to tolerate relationships that don't support our growth, less-than-ideal self-care, and work that is dead-end.
We rationalize this -- but we let so many things stay in place because we're ... what? You fill in the blank.
We don't put forth the effort to make a change.
I learned a long time ago that our tolerations actively sap our energy. For every undone project and every jam-packed clutter zone, we pay a price. A tiny bit of energy drains out. If you are tolerating lots of things, your energy deficit may be larger than your energy credit.
When you live with a chronic illness, this is an expensive way to go. You need your energy, your initiative, your sense of power and control.
You can take that energy back. It is a simple process.
Start eliminating those tolerations.
I suggest people begin with a list. Don't worry about how many items there are -- or how minor they seem. Every one counts. Write them all down.
Look for the easiest ones to eliminate.
Decide what you can do today and tomorrow. Do two or three. Then pick five to cross off by next week.
I once worked with someone who needed new glasses and hadn't taken the time to go to the eye doctor. She also was out of checks, and got behind on bills, and her daughter was toddling around in shoes that were too small. Then there were minor things like a car inspection, and a hall closet where you couldn't hang up anything because it was full of coats no one was wearing. She had a longer list, but this was where she decided to start.
Three weeks into the project, she was feeling stronger and happier and more in charge. She even felt that her arthritis was improved.
I think it had a lot to do with not feeling so overwhelmed and stuck.
What are you tolerating? What will you do about that today? This week?
When you get rid of them, I promise you will feel better -- in lots of ways!
What I get most out of this article is a reminder to prioritize, and to make sure I'm honest with myself about whether those priorities are in line with Bigger Goals. It's also a reminder to "edit" or cut entirely things I have some choice about, but which bring little or no joy in proportion to the pain in my ass.
Just a bit of thinky. :)
capriciouslass. I thought it was a very interesting and useful reminder, and wanted to share/save it here too. Please to forgive the slap-dash pasting of things, rather than actual link-fu.http://www.creakyjoints.org/columns/ethereal-cereal/2009/08/25/what-are-you-tolerating
What Are You Tolerating?
by Dr. Laurie Ferguson — last modified Aug 25, 2009 04:56 PM
For every undone project and every jam-packed clutter zone, we pay a price. A tiny bit of energy drains out. If you are tolerating lots of things, your energy deficit may be larger than your energy credit.Every morning when I turn on my computer and boot up my e-mail, a lovely post appears from a fiery woman named Danielle LaPorte. Her blog is titled White Hot Truth and I never know what will show up -- a song, a quote, a poem, a musing.
Today it was a simple question written in large script across the page:
What are you tolerating?
Isn't that a great question?
We tolerate so many things, letting them accumulate on the edges -- and sometimes even in the center of our lives. Unanswered letters, cluttered desks and drawers, cars that need to be fixed, freezers that overflow so we can't get one more thing in them. All of these are irritating tolerations that distract us a hundred times a day.
Then there are the larger, more insidious tolerations. We tolerate thoughts that eat up our precious energy: "I can't, it doesn't matter, it's not worth the effort."
We allow ourselves to tolerate relationships that don't support our growth, less-than-ideal self-care, and work that is dead-end.
We rationalize this -- but we let so many things stay in place because we're ... what? You fill in the blank.
We don't put forth the effort to make a change.
I learned a long time ago that our tolerations actively sap our energy. For every undone project and every jam-packed clutter zone, we pay a price. A tiny bit of energy drains out. If you are tolerating lots of things, your energy deficit may be larger than your energy credit.
When you live with a chronic illness, this is an expensive way to go. You need your energy, your initiative, your sense of power and control.
You can take that energy back. It is a simple process.
Start eliminating those tolerations.
I suggest people begin with a list. Don't worry about how many items there are -- or how minor they seem. Every one counts. Write them all down.
Look for the easiest ones to eliminate.
Decide what you can do today and tomorrow. Do two or three. Then pick five to cross off by next week.
I once worked with someone who needed new glasses and hadn't taken the time to go to the eye doctor. She also was out of checks, and got behind on bills, and her daughter was toddling around in shoes that were too small. Then there were minor things like a car inspection, and a hall closet where you couldn't hang up anything because it was full of coats no one was wearing. She had a longer list, but this was where she decided to start.
Three weeks into the project, she was feeling stronger and happier and more in charge. She even felt that her arthritis was improved.
I think it had a lot to do with not feeling so overwhelmed and stuck.
What are you tolerating? What will you do about that today? This week?
When you get rid of them, I promise you will feel better -- in lots of ways!
What I get most out of this article is a reminder to prioritize, and to make sure I'm honest with myself about whether those priorities are in line with Bigger Goals. It's also a reminder to "edit" or cut entirely things I have some choice about, but which bring little or no joy in proportion to the pain in my ass.
Just a bit of thinky. :)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-08-28 03:14 pm (UTC)I wasn't surprised to realize that I don't tolerate much. At all.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-28 03:29 pm (UTC)What I like most is that it's not so much about insisting upon or relying on anybody else's choices, you know? It's all about where I choose to give up mental and emotional real estate. At least, that's the way I read it.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-28 03:38 pm (UTC)Ha!
It took me a long time (and several arguments) before I realized that when people complained to me about something in their life, they were usually just griping to gripe. I thought they were asking for to find a way to solve the issue. I mean, why else would you spend the energy telling someone at length about a problem, unless you wanted help solving it? So I'd go off on all this advice and opinion and it would usually end poorly and I'd be mystified.
If something bothers you so badly that you're going to someone else to unload, then you should either 1) do something to remedy the situation, or 2) laugh about the shitty circumstances and let it go.
Sometimes the griping is part of the letting go, but that happens all too rarely, I think.
"Giving up mental and emotional real estate." That's a wonderful concept. I like it! Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-28 04:07 pm (UTC)I try to be very careful to SAY, hey, I just need to natter on for a bit so I can process this and need somebody to listen. And I try to be specific when I ask questions of a person who's griping, like, what is it you need from me in this situation?
Life is a bell curve. I try to be happier closer to the problem-solving end, myself.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-28 04:08 pm (UTC)Good call.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-28 04:18 pm (UTC)That's not to say I *can't* do that for people I care about, or that it's not a valid thing to need. Just...you know, I'm not gonna be Your Girl for that all the time. But I'm not very nice. (sigh)
no subject
Date: 2009-08-28 04:22 pm (UTC)I think I would like the opportunity to get to know you better. We seem to be birds of a feather in many ways.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-28 04:31 pm (UTC)I liked seeing you when I wandered over to Lawrence. I do tend to be more introverted when it comes to Getting Out and Spending Time with People. No judgement on specific people. Just PEOPLE in general. :)
Life is long and the world goes 'round. I'm sure we'll spend more time together. You know, eventually.