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saffronhareYou know, after all these years, it shouldn't surprise me so much that oaths have a very prompt way of biting one in the ass.
I hate that. Does the fact that I wouldn't change the oath mean that I'm a glutton for punishment?
See, I made this oath on Saturday during my re-dedication on the Ritual Team. I figured that last year's oath was pretty task-heavy, and that maybe I'd focus on attitude instead this time (I'm a person who tends to obscure real difficult changes with with frenzied activity.)
The attitude I'm looking to enhance has its roots in a vision I had during a trance -- wow, about two years ago. We were supposed to meet our "inner priest/ess selves," which I thought was hooey at the time...but, lo and behold, there he was. This older, very strong and intelligent man, who happened to be camping out in the middle of the woods (druids, go figure) and wearing this ridiculously tattered rainbow-colored cloak. He was sitting on a log in front of the fire, eating stew out of a wooden bowl.
We were directed by the trance leaders to interact with this figure. So, I presented myself very earnestly to him and asked if I could be of service. He shrugged and said, some more soup would be great, and get some for yourself. Have a seat, and other such ordinary words. Well. Okay, then. We ate in silence for a while (the stew was great, by the way). Finally, I worked up the courage to ask him why he was dressed that way. He smiled to himself like he'd won some sort of private bet, and then explained that he chose to look a little ridiculous so he wouldn't be so intimidating. That it did nothing to undermine his power if he made an effort to seem more friendly...and that a sincere effort to be a little ridiculous could teach people more than all the seriousness in the world.
So. Back to the oath. I wore some funky-colored, big-flowered pajama pants to the ritual, and swore that I'd try to embrace the ridiculous...and try not to let my ego be wrapped up in appearing fearsome or intimidating. (I'll admit to feeling a bit flattered when somebody says I'm terrifying.)
The second part of the oath, which I forgot to speak out loud, was that I'd also make a conscious effort to help support the growth and leadership of people other than myself. I wouldn't say I'm power-hungry...Just naturally bossy and influential and very, very effective. But it does nobody any good -- especially within the shared community -- for me to be at the intersection of too many force vectors.
Anyway. Thought-spam out.
I hate that. Does the fact that I wouldn't change the oath mean that I'm a glutton for punishment?
See, I made this oath on Saturday during my re-dedication on the Ritual Team. I figured that last year's oath was pretty task-heavy, and that maybe I'd focus on attitude instead this time (I'm a person who tends to obscure real difficult changes with with frenzied activity.)
The attitude I'm looking to enhance has its roots in a vision I had during a trance -- wow, about two years ago. We were supposed to meet our "inner priest/ess selves," which I thought was hooey at the time...but, lo and behold, there he was. This older, very strong and intelligent man, who happened to be camping out in the middle of the woods (druids, go figure) and wearing this ridiculously tattered rainbow-colored cloak. He was sitting on a log in front of the fire, eating stew out of a wooden bowl.
We were directed by the trance leaders to interact with this figure. So, I presented myself very earnestly to him and asked if I could be of service. He shrugged and said, some more soup would be great, and get some for yourself. Have a seat, and other such ordinary words. Well. Okay, then. We ate in silence for a while (the stew was great, by the way). Finally, I worked up the courage to ask him why he was dressed that way. He smiled to himself like he'd won some sort of private bet, and then explained that he chose to look a little ridiculous so he wouldn't be so intimidating. That it did nothing to undermine his power if he made an effort to seem more friendly...and that a sincere effort to be a little ridiculous could teach people more than all the seriousness in the world.
So. Back to the oath. I wore some funky-colored, big-flowered pajama pants to the ritual, and swore that I'd try to embrace the ridiculous...and try not to let my ego be wrapped up in appearing fearsome or intimidating. (I'll admit to feeling a bit flattered when somebody says I'm terrifying.)
The second part of the oath, which I forgot to speak out loud, was that I'd also make a conscious effort to help support the growth and leadership of people other than myself. I wouldn't say I'm power-hungry...Just naturally bossy and influential and very, very effective. But it does nobody any good -- especially within the shared community -- for me to be at the intersection of too many force vectors.
Anyway. Thought-spam out.
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Date: 2004-03-31 04:21 pm (UTC)The oath was taken before my peers in ritual. But, in my tradition, it doesn't matter what the conditions are -- if I speak it with intention, then I am my own witness...even if the godden, my "inner priest" or the dustbunnies under my furniture haven't been asked to pay any particular attention.
And we Celts are very serious about the consequences of being forsworn. Almost as serious as we are about good beer and limericks and such. :)
As a side note, I have yet to figure out who the guy in my trance was, but he seemed to be his own individual and not an "aspect of myself" sort of fellow. I got the feeling he'd make fun of me if I ever used the phrase "shadow self," which I think bodes well for our relationship, because I myself make fun (in a loving way, of course) of people who use it, too.
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Date: 2004-03-31 04:45 pm (UTC)well, see, the hga often appears that way too. but that's what i was getting at... i don't know enough about your tradition (druidanity? druidism? what do you guys call it?.. see!) to make an informed decision. sorry i wasn't clear.