perspective management

[saffronhare]

This summer in general, and tonight in particular, have provided a lot of opportunities for me to practice Perspective Management.

The job search for a full-time position in my field -- at my level or even well below it -- continues to be frustrating and fruitless. So...rather than continue to experience failure banging my head against that particular rock, I've traded that effort for another one entirely: Starting a new business. There's no guarantee Everybody's Alice will be successful, either, but the other path was leading nowhere. This path might lead somewhere, maybe, and it's easier to envision success now.

At the same time, that choice means looking for part-time or "virtual" work in a more dedicated fashion. I give thanks for high school typing class, and every administrative assistant job I ever held in college, grad school, or in other intervals of my life. Because, kids, that's what could save my butt with some billable hours to fill out our family's "revenue pie." I am organized and efficient, well-spoken, and generally skilled at gettin' shit done. My ego isn't wrapped around having a swanky title; and the demands of my family mean I'm not all that attached to advancement, either.

More than anything, I needed to shift my perspective, because continuing to believe there was only one way my employment future could look was too limiting, and was really crushing my spirit.

Then, there was tonight. A new friend -- very nice fellow mom, met through scouts and such -- invited me to a Mary Kay party at her place. I set my mind on going and seeing what would happen in terms of social time and general girl-type learning. I even colored my hair and tweezed my eyebrows! But I get there only to discover that it had been moved to next week instead. AWKWARD. In my world, the only thing that approaches the awfulness of having a party that nobody comes to is showing up for a party that isn't happening. But now I know how to find Friend's house and was invited to please come for next week. ::sigh:;

It would have been very easy to replay some really terrible tapes in my head on the way home, as rio_luna might say. I admit I was *thisclose* to crying. Between the divorce and this move, I've lost contact with almost every single one of the friends I had at this point five years ago. I know, my choices, my consequences. Still, it's really hard.

But hey. Taking it personally would have gotten me nowhere, and would have been inaccurate to boot. So I have to shift my perspective to look at the positives instead. Friend was genuinely happy to see me and had tried to get a message to me, she said, and I simply didn't receive it. And now I won't have to color my hair *next* Wednesday. And the kids said I looked nice.

So that ain't nothing.

Comments

[capriciouslass.livejournal.com]

I understand what you're saying here really well. I'm in a similar position with having made some serious life changes; I don't regret the changes, so I do my best to embrace all that they come with.
There are days that I miss the people that were around me 5 years ago too. And even though you and I were not that close, I'm still happy to say that I know you.

[silk-noir.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, the terrible tapes. Many of us know those well.

I bet you did look nice. What did you color your hair?

And have you looked into a good tmep agency?

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

I colored it a dark brown, pretty close to my actual color. Mostly, I just want to cover the gray hair. :)

Yes, actually -- I have finally reached the point of working with a temp agency. There's one in town with a good reputation for placing folks in temp or temp-to-hire for marketing positions, so that could be helpful. Still doesn't goose the industry into doing a lot of hiring. I'm also working with a Virtual Assistant agency that does similar stuff, though focused on telework.

[opaljax.livejournal.com]

Hugs to you.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Yes. I always feel better when my roots aren't showing. =)

I don't know if you'll be doing Lawrence runs often enough to make it worth the while for both of us, but if you are, I will totally hire Everybody's Alice for twice a month duties.

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

Twice a month is totally worth my while, honey. Dash me an email with what you're needing -- EverybodysAlice [at] gmail [dot] com -- and we can arrange details!

[rio-luna.livejournal.com]

i think Everybody's Alice is GENIUS, and along the lines of something i was thinking. i hope it pays off big for you!

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm really excited about the idea, and response so far has been very encouraging. Who knows? Maybe I'm on the leading edge of something, for once. :)