Very few readings could have hurt my brain more.

From Free Will Astrology:

( Cancer (week of July 1, 2004) )

::pfft::

a. the sound made by breathofgold's computer as it died earlier this afternoon

b. the sound made by breathofgold, witnessing the death of her computer earlier this afternoon

c. the sound any recent (and near-future) electronic communications will make, disappearing somewhere between you and breathofgold

d. all of the above