Please don't ask about my costume.
Oct. 31st, 2005 10:08 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
saffronhareI really loathe Halloween. Sure, I enjoy putting a few things up around the house. In the last decade or so, the spiritual observance of Samhain has been a buffer of sorts against the secular celebrations of the season.
But make no mistake -- I hate Halloween. Bah, humbug.
I guess it's the costuming that makes me all cranky. Either I lack the imagination to figure out really good costumes for myself, or I give in to somebody else's idea about how I should dress -- no matter what, I always feel stupid and ugly. It's been this way as far back as I can remember. In recent years, the costumes for which I have earned any acclaim are the overweight pirate (with a beard and everything) and the nun who totally miscaluclated the impact of her look. Add the shame of discovering that I'm more vain than I thought, and you've got a very unhappy bunny.
Now, I've got kids who have all sorts of ideas about what they want to be, who change their minds faster than I can keep up with, and who have nearly impossible demands for my time and budget.
Please understand: I affirm and promote everyone's right to have parties and dress up in different costumes for all the different events that happen around this time of year. Heck, I even make some of those costumes. I sat at the breakfast table with a needle and thread this morning, reinforcing a strap on Princess Boredom's dress. I really do want everyone to have a great time.
In order to relieve some of this internal conflict, I want to give up on the idea of wearing any sort of costume right now. When I show up at your party (this year or some future year), please just let me be there as myself, for you.
But make no mistake -- I hate Halloween. Bah, humbug.
I guess it's the costuming that makes me all cranky. Either I lack the imagination to figure out really good costumes for myself, or I give in to somebody else's idea about how I should dress -- no matter what, I always feel stupid and ugly. It's been this way as far back as I can remember. In recent years, the costumes for which I have earned any acclaim are the overweight pirate (with a beard and everything) and the nun who totally miscaluclated the impact of her look. Add the shame of discovering that I'm more vain than I thought, and you've got a very unhappy bunny.
Now, I've got kids who have all sorts of ideas about what they want to be, who change their minds faster than I can keep up with, and who have nearly impossible demands for my time and budget.
Please understand: I affirm and promote everyone's right to have parties and dress up in different costumes for all the different events that happen around this time of year. Heck, I even make some of those costumes. I sat at the breakfast table with a needle and thread this morning, reinforcing a strap on Princess Boredom's dress. I really do want everyone to have a great time.
In order to relieve some of this internal conflict, I want to give up on the idea of wearing any sort of costume right now. When I show up at your party (this year or some future year), please just let me be there as myself, for you.
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Spurious logic, perhaps
Date: 2005-10-31 04:49 pm (UTC)Love you, even when you're cranky. ;)