in which we live in the middle of a Doppler Effect

[saffronhare]

Thank goodness Eddie Izzard had a bit about the Doppler Effect, or I'd lose my mind. Everything sort of compresses and accelerates around this time of year, and every year we get through it just fine. Because the earth will rotate with or without my influence. All I've gotta do is stay attached to the planet and focus on continuing to breathe. Right? Right.

Graduation time is approaching for Lady Sadie, who struggles with not having a Grand Vision. We keep telling her that's fine...hardly anybody has a Grand Vision, and if they do, well, they will probably end up changing it sooner or later. But us telling her doesn't make it true in her head. Tricky part is, where my default when I'm in doubt like that is to OVERPLAN, her default seems to be AVOID EVERYTHING. Not sure how to navigate that...a challenge made stickier by not really having known her until the last three years or so.

Summer camping season is almost here. This year, we've got three who are staffing camp all summer long and who will therefore only be around the house about one day each week to sleep, eat, shower, and poop. (Yes, I said it.) A fourth one is doing a "training week" this summer, with the objective of being on full-time staff next summer. We don't pay for them to staff; they receive a paycheck. If only he were turning 15 sooner! Next year, though, it's ON.

So frustrating that all the payments for summer activities and some fall stuff are due right at the beginning of May, which is on the heels of Birthday Month. Gah.

In good news, my foot is slowly but measurably improving. I don't need to take anti-inflammatory meds anymore (unless I've been really stupid) and I've been able to start on some PT. Still not comfortable putting on any shoes other than my New Balance or (heaven forbid) my Crocs. The hideous pink ones. Looking forward to being able to walk my dog a little bit in the next couple of weeks. Still can't quite "step out" and push off the ball of my foot, but a nice mosey is working for now just fine. Tiny goals.

Comments

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Graduation time is approaching for Lady Sadie, who struggles with not having a Grand Vision.

Jeez. I graduated high school twenty-five years ago and I'm still lacking a Grand Vision.

OH WELL!



Very glad to hear your foot is healing.

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

Exactly. She is very attached to the notion of having a Grand Vision, but can't seem to figure one out. She is also vehemently rejecting "lame" options like working, attending community college, and living at home until she gets some traction with grades, financial aid, etc. Hence the STRUGGLE of epic proportions. I don't think she has to have one, but she sure needs to have at least a Next Step in mind. Because sitting around in one's jammies and reading porn fan fiction online, while fine as an off-hours hobby, isn't going to pay the rent. I should be more compassionate, maybe. Girl is STUCK.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Huh.

She is also vehemently rejecting "lame" options like working, attending community college, and living at home until she gets some traction with grades, financial aid, etc.



Okay, see, this is why it's good I'm not a parent. Because to me this doesn't sound so much stuck as it does lazy and a little scared. Scared is okay, but lazy is most definitely not.

I should be more compassionate, maybe.

I assure you, you're being more compassionate than I would be. I wouldn't be compassionate at all. I'd haul her ass to a job counselor yesterday. Like, one half of one percent of people know what they want to do straight out of high school, and I'd tell her she needs to suit up and start faking being a grown-up until she starts making it.

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

I remember my father saying, "I never did decide what I wanted to be when I grew up. So I decided not to grow up." Why has society so pressured kids to have a Grand Vision at such a young age? I just don't get it. Doesn't she have a passion for anything? I at least had a hobby/interest/urge to do creative stuff, to sew, and that ended up being my career, for better or worse.

Some of those things may be "lame" but they might prepare her for other stuff that isn't.

[rebeccafiddler.livejournal.com]

Grand Visions, while not required, do offer the advantage of helping with setting goals and expectations, which is the real stuff of which Grown-Up Life is made. The Vision can change over time (and usually does), but it still functions as an important motivator.

As you said, it's okay not to have a Grand Vision, but that Next Step really does need to be there, and that had better include some form of paying work. Otherwise, she's going to find herself not only sitting around in her jammies and reading fanfic, but then continually begging others to help cover her rent/utilities/fuel for her vehicle/food/etc.

[fionnabhar.livejournal.com]

Grand Plan not needed at 18, as you well know and have said. Any Plan At All, however, might be a refreshing change.

Seriously, grown-ups who never actually grow up in some very fundamental ways are the sort of people nobody really wants be around. Being a real grown-up doesn't mean you never get to have fun again, ferfuxake. If only they could invent a self-filling-out FAFSA, right?