Topical and Timely!

[saffronhare]

Lifted from The Onion online, 21 October 2009:

October Is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

The American Cancer Society predicts 40,170 women will die from breast cancer this year.

Here are some things women can do to help fight this silent killer:

• Keep a canary between your breasts; should the canary die, contact a physician immediately


• Exercise regularly so that the cancer will give up on you and go after slower, weaker women instead


• Let the girls out for a breather every so often


• Wear shirts that make you and others think positive things about your breasts


• Edit the Wikipedia page for breast cancer and write a sentence about how you'll never get it


• Avoid exposing your breasts in the immediate vicinity of a nuclear power plant


• Consult some weird old Japanese lady and drink whatever nasty crap she advises


• While in the shower, rub your breasts in a circular motion. Yeah, just like that. Maybe use a little soap. Don't forget the nipples. Oh, God, yes, that's it

Comments

[tessagratton.livejournal.com]

*love*

[diermuid.livejournal.com]

Saliva has anti-cancer properties, so get your breasts licked, early, often, and as much as possible!

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

That's you: Helpful like crazy!

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

I'm a little concerned about the "early" part. Unless you mean early in the morning, which I can endorse.

[diermuid.livejournal.com]

I meant as a preventative measure, don't wait until symptoms appear.

I count myself lucky to be horribly unfond of anything under 25, and very few things under 35. Too much doom to be found there. Granted, I am horribly paranoid... as a guy, even admiring the wrong breasts from across the room can cause doom and awful.

[katzenfrau.livejournal.com]

(dissolves into giggles) Awesomemest breast cancer post ever. Has nothing to do with the red wine.