Questions are free. Answers always have a price.

[saffronhare]

Yesterday, I decided to try playing a game with rougewench. She's asked me some questions, which I'll endeavor to answer here. Also included are the rules with an excellent addendum from herself. And now, I suppose I should "friend" her, so she can actually comment on the answers if she likes. ::waves hello::

Back around again, like all LJ memes that crop up like clockwork, is The Interview Meme (sometimes inexplicably called the Shower Meme)...the rules go like this:

1. Leave me a comment saying "Interview me!"
2. I will respond by asking you five questions of a very intimate and creepily personal nature, or not so creepy personal.
3. If you choose, you can update your journal with the answers to the questions.
4. Be a sport and include this explanation with an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, be a nosey fart and ask them 5 questions.

Now here's the thing, as busy as I am at the moment, I cannot promise that I'll get you 5 questions instantly if you ask me. Also, if I've "interviewed" you before (one of the last times this bastard went around), please do me the kindness of not asking for another go around this particular time around...


Too many words, yeah, but I went with the "blurt it all out and worry about form another day" approach.

1. So what's up with the bunny thing?
I just like them. It started as a nickname bestowed on me by my father. He called me Bunny Rabbit (or runny babbit, or running babbit) -- pobably because I was small and quick and bouncy. Childhood stuffed animals gradually shifted over to collections of ceramic rabbits, and so on. I don't go crazy with the bunny decorating these days, but most rooms will have some representation of a rabbit in one form or another. As my spiritual consciousness developed, bunnies became sort of a totem for me. Actually, I prefer hares to fluffy bunnies. (Think vorpal hare, like in Monty Python). I am not a furry. I don't want a pet rabbit. And it doesn't make me cry if a rabbit is killed by my dog, or if somebody likes hasenpfeffer stew. They're prey, yo. These days, the bunny thing reminds me that I can be ferocious and vulnerable at the same time...that I can be small and still, or run like hell...and that all of those states can be good, in their measure. For the record, the "saffron" part of the name has almost nothing to do with the color yellow. It's about the properties of the herb saffron -- protection, purification, healing, etc.

2. Are you originally from Kansas City? If not, how did you come to find yourself here?
I'm an Army Brat, so I'm not really originally from anywhere. Where I've lived and how it shaped me is another conversation entirely. When I left West Point, my family was stationed at Ft. Leavenworth, so I came out here to get my shit together and finish college. I left shortly after graduation for other places, but my husband is from here (we met at college). At a certain point, when our eldest daughter was about five, we started thinking about where we wanted to "settle down" (an alien concept for me) and he suggested here. I figured why not. Within six months, I'd landed a job at the Kansas City Symphony and we relocated in December of 1999. Bought a house a few years ago...had a couple more kids...built a circle of friends and chosen family. The original reasons for coming here haven't all worked out very well, but here we stay. I don't know quite why, because I often hate it, but this area feels like home. I will compulsively rearrange furniture every once in a while to hold off the jones to move, but I suspect it would take *a lot* to make me leave.

3. Do you consider yourself a left-brain or right-brain dominant individual?
I can be stunningly, cripplingly left-brain dominant...and domineering about it, too. It's something I consciously work hard to balance out in many ways -- not because I think either method of functioning is superior, but because I think balance is a good thing. I have no desire to be hamstrung by my strengths. Over the years, I've developed some proficiency with shifting between ways of functioning, particularly with divination, dance and acting. But left-brain remains my default. INTJ all the way. Makes me very useful to the revolution, I think. :)

4. If there were one thing you would cut from your life, if it were just that simple to do so, what would it be?
Wow. I don't know if I can articulate an answer here, but I bet you could hear the transmission fall out of my head. Give me some time to chew on it, okay?

5. What do you do to feed your soul?
I'm a textbook introvert, so I tend to replenish myself (if that's what you mean) with solitary activities, or at least things that don't involve large groups of people I don't know. Time to read, or sew, or even clean my house is tremendously valuable to me. Typical Cancerian, huh? Given half the chance, I will dance until my feet bleed, and weep at the joy of it. Performing is a special kind of heroin that I'm sort of starved for right now. All this walking and running and fighting has been fabulous for me. Meditation, devotions and personal rituals at home give me great comfort. I will nap, curled up with a person whom I trust to be on guard so I can let go. I will wear jammies and eat breakfast all day long. I will do crossword puzzles and avoid cooking, though I'm happy to hand-wash dishes in warm soapy water. I will putter in my garden until I can hardly move, well aware that I might have come into contact with poison ivy and pleased to pay the price and, struggling to straighten my back, beam a mud-streaked smile to whomever is wathcing and say, "I'm so happy!" I will poach myself in a hot bath until I'm pruney all over -- any time of day. Depending on the mood, lovemaking works too, but I'll generally need to feel replenished before desire surfaces. ;)

Comments

five more:

[tessagratton.livejournal.com]

and they're spirituality heavy:

1) How were you raised, spiritually speaking, and what was your progression to the path you now tread?

2) I know you have been dealing with Angus Mac Og of late, and aside from the recent encounters with Bast tend towards Celtic deities. What do the gods mean to you? What are they? How do they affect your life?

3) What does aspecting feel like, physically? And emotionally/mentally if you like.

4) If you can't dance for some reason, what is your next best way to connect with the divine? (Assuming dance is your first best way - I could be crazy!)

5) What did you do for the Symphony?!?

And, interview me!

eep. okay.

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

Good thing we're in "hurry up and wait" mode at work. Lemme give this a try, though most of these would be much easier to answer over a beer. :)

1. I was raised Irish Catholic. It was many years before I understood this was different from identifying as Roman Catholic. My mother's family was deeply involved in the church -- to the point that one person from every generation was still going into the priesthood. I don't think they bargained on me. When I left home, I still found comfort in the ritual and liturgy of the Catholic church, but I started to feel like I couldn't say all the prayers with all my heart. There were things they defines as sin and virtue that didn't feel true to me. So I started reading. After a few forays into other pagan paths, I found druidry. And it fits me very well, with plenty of breathing room. (www.adf.org)

2. "Dealing with" isn't quite it. I'm a hard polytheist -- which, to me, means that the gods are distinct entities, each with their own way of relating to me and the world and all that. My own personal practice leans toward Northern European cultures, with Celtic probably first among them (there's some Germanic and Norse in there too). Inside my own personal practice, there are a few gods with whom I express a more intense and personal relationship. They're my patrons. Artemis was probably my first, though she faded away almost entirely when I reached adulthood. After that, there was Herne. And Andraste. A year or so ago, Herne stepped away and Aengus stepped in. Long story. I think maybe you were in on some of those journal entries, but I'm not sure. Let me know. Patronage is a very elaborate expression of hospitality and partnership. Bast? I was on loan to her for a particular task. I think she likes to play with me, but I am not Hers.

3. Aspecting feels a bit different every time, depending on where I'm at and which god we're talking about. I'm an athlete and a warrior-priest-type person, so that's the vocabulary I tend to use when describing it, but your mileage may vary. Some gods, based on the history of their culture and worship, are going to expect to drive. Bast, for example, expected me to set my ego aside and let her take over entirely. The other Egyptian deities were like that too -- my memory of those experiences is very much a scattershot slideshow. Macha, on the other hand, sort of had her hand on my shoulder and her voice in my ear the whole way. It's tremendously demanding and rewarding. I consider it to be "extreme divination," since I'm putting as little of my Self as possible between the power and the receivers of that message. I'm not answering the full question here, am I? Physically, I feel absolutely tapped out afterwards. And emotionally bruised but fulfilled -- sort of like really amazing, skull-busting sex. Wow. I hope that isn't blasphemous. :)

Re: eep. okay.

[tessagratton.livejournal.com]

I imagine for some of them, amazing, skull-busting sex is EXACTLY how they'd want it described!

I remember reading about you beginning to find Aengus, but I don't recall much about Herne, or the actual transition. I'd love to hear more, but you are right that this IS the kind of conversation meant to take place with beer in hand... Herne was my first patron, too. I've never used that word to describe it before, but your definition is spot-on to what it felt like.

Re: five more:

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

4. If I can't dance, then I have to move in some way or I go nuts. Running is great, but it's been hard work getting down to a weight where I can do that safely and for any real period of time. Walking is okay, I've discovered, as long as I'm covering some pretty extreme distances -- otherwise, it just doesn't go deeply enough into my muscles and bones. Fighting is wonderful: fencing, boffer fighting, heavy SCA fighting. The key to all of these is duration and intensity, reaching a point where I can unwind myself and be wrung out. Dancing was my first love, so it stands as the favored option. This is another place where sex comes into play. Not as a "feeding the soul" activity, but as a way to really get rough and sweaty and primal. ahem. Anyway. ::blushing::

5. I came in as their grantwriter and director of corporate giving. I'd moved up to being the associate director of development and mostly supervised their annual fund by the time I left. It was just way past time for me to be out of nonprofits, really.

You have sprained my brain. Gimme some time, and I'll come up with questions for you. XO

Re: five more:

[tessagratton.livejournal.com]

Sorry for the brain sprain. I'm glad to have the answers, though! So for me, it was worth it. But then, I enjoy inflicting pain. ;)

I've always wanted to be able dance more in prayer or circle/ritual/whatever. I have a hard time doing in when there's other people around, though, unless there is also a bonfire and drums. Breaking through the "appropriate behavior for public" barrier is tough stuff! But nothing beats that pounding of feet and muscle that reverberates all through you. I've been wondering the last few months if it's related to the need to fight... but I have trouble wanting to actually put weapons in my hands because I have this real fear that I might kill someone. But, anyhoo...

interview questions

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

1. When a person is kissing you, where do you prefer they put their hands?

2. How do you think the absence of Mistress Rose is going to affect the way you portray Mistress Azure this year?

3. Which one of your selves is represented by the windswept knight with his head bowed over the sword? (or is it more of a mood?)

4. What is it about (your) dancing that strikes you as "inappropriate behavior" for public?

5. If you could recommend a book (or a couple of books) to me, in order to give me some insight into the way you think and believe, what would it/they be?

[zylch.livejournal.com]

I can't recall whether you've interviewed me before. If so, please pardon the interruption. If not, ask away. Or not. Really I'm just looking for games to distract me cleaning the apartment.

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

1. You look for games to distract you from cleaning, and I look for cleaning to distract me from other things. What do you think that means?

2. What are the most important factors in the living arrangements you're...er, arranging for your relocation to England?

3. Per gamera_spinning's post, what food items do you think you're likely to miss the most? (hint: these will be useful clues for anybody who might be thinking of constructing care packages...not that anybody would ever do such a thing)

4. Where do you hope your next dig will be? Or have you started wanting to work with particular kinds of people or particular kinds of digs over location-al-like considerations?

5. How the heck are you going to get a hearth flame onto the plane in your carry-on?

[zylch.livejournal.com]

1. Possibly, just possibly, it means that despite occassionally frightening similarities you and I are in fact very different people :-) On a more unpacked level, I'd say it's a combination of things. First, I just plain don't find cleaning interesting (certainly not as interesting as reading popcorn fiction or articles about why smart people do dumb things). Second, cleaning usually involves throwing things away, and I'm an incorrigible packrat so this distresses me. Third, and in keeping with my tendency to an all-or-nothing mindset, I get a bit pathological about things being clean -- if I'm going to clean, it's going to be white glove clean, and I generally just don't have the time/energy to do that. Since I also have a high tolerance for mess, it's easier to let it slide. (This is perhaps related to "If I can't succeed, I will fail spectacularly.") So while a few chores like washing dishes or sorting laundry have a certain zen relaxation quality, most just annoy me. As for why you use cleaning to distract you from other things, I imagine that you put a decent amount of attention into what you're doing when you clean so it distracts you from other things, and that it pleases you when your surroundings are orderly so it improves your mood. On my part, cleaning is relatively mindless and so just gives me time to stew on whatever's bothering me, which improves my mood not at all.

2. Cost, location, and term of lease. I'm set up with a shared house within walking distance of the train station, the campus, and city centre (where there are at least three health food stores, so I have decent part-time employment prospects). The cost is a bit less than the dorms, and the house has excellent insulation and new energy efficient appliances so bills will be reasonable. The lease runs from the beginning of September through the end of July, which should let me complete my course and pack without doing the crazy "pack during finals week" that I loved oh-so-much during undergrad.

3. You know, I'm not sure. The last time I was there was for a week on a shoestring, so I lived on bread and occassionally cheese. I've heard that kraft mac and cheese is unavailable, and that might be welcome after a few months. But other than that I don't know what the cuisine differences will be. Ask again in six months?

4. If someone else is paying, I'll go anywhere they want to send me :) I wouldn't mind finally making it to Greece, certainly. I'd love to go back to Tunisia or Italy. I'm still primarily interested in classical archaeology, but if someone in Asia were looking for a person to make CAD site models I could well be up for that, too.

5. I refer you to the prayer I use when lighting hearth flames, aei epi thumelon te kai en thumois asbeste kaioio, "May you always burn, unquenchable, on our hearths and in our hearts." Literal flames may be forbidden on planes, but the FAA has not yet restricted metaphorical ones. I'll also be taking the Hestia candle I got at the god auction with me, so in a sense I'll be carrying fire from one community to another.


Also, I do not know how, when, or why a red clipboard with a yellow legal pad with what appears to be your handwriting describing renovation plans for various rooms appeared in my apartment, but would you like it back?

[rougewench.livejournal.com]

Most excellent answers. Many thanks for playing. Chew on number 4 as long as necessary.

Would you mind if I friended you as well?


D.

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

Nope, I don't mind at all. :) Thanks for the brain-poking.

[rougewench.livejournal.com]

Anytime. And if some point you care to, you might consider interviewing me. I would be interesting to see what you might ask.


D.

[lilia-blackbear.livejournal.com]

Interview me, please, when you get the time.

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

1. What's with the Tori Amos thing? :)
2. Other than druidevo, what has been your greatest comfort during this transition to the KC area? What helps you feel at home?
3. Tell me more about the degree you're finishing up. Where do you want it to take you? (literally, metaphorically, whatever)
4. Is discussion of marriage actually taboo, or does it merely embarrass you? Or is there something else I'm not clued into well enough? (possibly bumbling idiot, table for one)
5. Since there's been no word of an actual house-warming event: what do you guys need for setting up the household?

[brandy22kc.livejournal.com]

interview me when you get a chance..thank you

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

I don't remember if you interviewed me or not last time. If you get inspired to interview me this time, I would enjoy that.

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

I suspect I've already interviewed you, but I'll be happy to post some really terrible questions soon. Just let me get through everyone else first, okay? XO

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Sure. I'm in no hurry.