Understanding conversational domination

[saffronhare]

I think this is pretty interesting stuff, found this morning in the journal of a person who often has stimulating things to say, while I was traipsing around a bit this morning. What I find particularly thought-provoking is that power and dominance don't necessarily have a lot to do with who is apparently in charge of a situation -- rather, it is my experience that these sorts of behaviors end up dominating debate and interaction with much more subtle manipulations of influence and personalities underneath the surface, and often in ways that make the dominating person appear to be harmless or the victim of harm rather than the aggressor.

It's a good reminder of what to watch out for in others...and a particularly sharp and useful check on what I sometimes do, if I'm honest enough with myself to see it for truth. Really, we all pull these tricks at one time or another, both consciously and unconsciously.

I've edited the information down a bit here, and I don't have the actual links yet -- but I'll try to get those coded soon. I don't agree with all of it. For instance, the essay focuses specifically on how men do this to women, and there are a goatload of assumptions about how the sexes feel about life and themselves. But if your brain can edit out those overarching themes, then there are a few shining moments in there (well worth the sifting, in my opinion) about how people can relate to other people in either horrible or healthy ways. The commentary on the original post is shaping up to be something worth watching too. In the meantime, please go visit sunfell for the original post.



Ever wonder why sometimes it is really frustrating to work with certain people- especially those in power? This essay about domination techniques in conversation will give you some insight into these 'domination techniques' that are used against you, and a way to squelch them. This essay is from Norway. URL = http://64.233.161.104/search?q=cache:Av-P1ISKJyEJ:www.likestilling.no/english/domination.pdf+%22Berit+%C3%85s%22&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=78

Position of power and domination techniques

Power is the ability, quality or state of being able to get someone else to do something you want done, or the ability to make things happen or get things done the way you want performing physical, legal or mental skills. ... Many strategies are used consciously and unconsciously to maintain power and privileges; one strategy is the use of domination techniques. When we become aware of these techniques they’ll lose their power. Here are the five domination techniques, which are discussed at length in the essay:

1. Making invisible.
2. Ridicule.
3. Denial of information.
4. Double-jeopardy.
5. The imposition of guilt and shame.

Comments

[fionnabhar.livejournal.com]

I think the domination technique that angers me most readily is when someone gives me only a dribble of information, but then seems to expect a certain outcome from me. Then, when I can't perform to those expectations, I get blamed for the faulty outcome.

In some minor ways, my old principal did that. She'd call an "urgent" faculty meeting after school, but not give even a hint of what it's about. Or you'd get a note in your box saying "See me in my office." You'd have no idea what was it about, but you'd know you were gonna get your ass chewed. It's passive-aggressive, really, making sure the playing field isn't level.

Did I mention she retired at the end of this past year? Overall, a great principal, but I hated that unnecessary and otherwise purposeless control of information.

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

Yeah. My father used to call that the "Gotcha!" School of Management and Interpersonal Relations. It is teh suxxor and holds a special place of scorn in my heart. That's not to say I never do it myself. (sigh)

[fionnabhar.livejournal.com]

I'm more likely to ridicule with sarcasm. I know how surprised you must be to find that out about me.