On Attaining Enlightenment

[saffronhare]

This morning started nice and early, with doggies whining to go out at 6:30 a.m. and all the commotion that comes with it. The new oil that we put in their food for healthy skin and coats in the dry winter gives one of them the burps. I'm pretty sure it's not the Pictish Corgi, but can't tell otherwise.

My ever-loving agrnmn got home early enough to crawl into the flannel sheets for a a little while before I needed to get out of bed. (No, he didn't get to crawl into my flannel happy pants, graciously on loan from iron_clad and breathofgold.)

Hang on. Enlightenment is coming.

So, I'm just saying for the third time that I really need to get out of bed (which, since I'm a Cordian Druid, means I have to do it), when we hear a "conversation" at the top of the stairs. Princess !Kaboom, who is a morning person, is awake and trying to convince Princess Sticky that she should go back into the room because it's not time for her to get up yet. Princess Sticky, convinced that she's going to miss something interesting if her sister goes downstairs and leaves her behind, disagrees. This exchange involves a lot of grumpy sounds from Princess Sticky, who is NOT a morning person...AT ALL.

I turn on the hallway light and announce they can both come down, and lay out my yoga mat to do my morning stretching. It is not long before I have lots of "help" from Princess Sticky and the Dingo. When I'm sitting cross-legged, Princess Sticky is in my lap, pushing back on my torso. When I'm on all fours in Cat pose, she climbs up to "ride" me. It's this moment when the Dingo decides my nostrils should be licked. All these supportive efforrts become especially "fun" as I move into Cobra.

Mind you, zylch is sitting on the futon laughing and providing commentary. And agrnmn is on the computer, composing his Phil Kline manifesto. Princess !Kaboom comes by now and then to demonstrate some kung-fu or tell me a "secret." Finally, I just can't stop laughing...then, I fart.

Ah, enlightenment.

Comments

[teross50.livejournal.com]

Somewhere between a Norman Rockwell portrait and "Don't eat the Daisy's is your house It will make a wonderful book

T

[diermuid.livejournal.com]

We determined that dogs are sneakier than humans because they have a lack of butt cheeks.

That was good for over 30 minutes of mental analysis with the kids. The funny thing is, no one was laughing about dog farts because they were all in ponder mode. That, and Casio farts are no laughing matter... she's old, so there is a lot of internal fermentation going on there. ;-)

[agrnmn.livejournal.com]

Sneakier perhaps in the initial phase however I think dog farts are far ranker therefore hardly sneaky at all. Of course the lack of warning sound may contribute to the stature of the odor since you are rarely prepared for the assault of the dog fart.

Snicker

[agrnmn.livejournal.com]

By the way as an unrepentant 7 year old when it comes to some humor, dog butt cheeks and farts will have me giggling all day.

[diermuid.livejournal.com]

Sneaky just in that you don't know it's coming. and the initial assualt is confusing... "Did the septic tank just blow? Did the cat die under the couch and no one noticed? OHHH damn, it's the DOG!" And it is hard to determine WHICH dog needs to be sent outside due to the lack of sound or butt cheeks. Since there is no cheeks to block the fart, dogs don't have to tilt.

Re: Snicker

[diermuid.livejournal.com]

Don't get me started on the cat's furry butt plane then. ;-)

I hate when cats think we need to SEE that they are too prissy to lick their butts clean, so they have the tail straight up showing off their spincter crumbs. I actually will not adopt a cat that has a vertical tail position, I think that needs to be bred out of all cats.

My pasttime with one cat that liked to show off it's pinkeye was to shuffle around in moccasins and shock it in the butt with the idea that it would put it's tail down. Never worked, the cat just sat down a lot when I was in the room.

Pete would approve

[lightonthesill.livejournal.com]

(this had me in a good fit of giggles - so thank you.) Was pearched on the porcilin throne night before last with Pete sitting on the hard wood floor just outside the masterbath...when phhhffft...whafts from his general dorsal direction....to which he blessedly...so predictably...half sat up to look under himslef and check out what the hell just happened to his ass.

Enlightenment...right.

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

Are you sure it's the dogs that are getting gas from the coat oil??

Re: Enlightenment...right.

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

No, the oil isn't giving me gas. I was just pressurizing to Cloud Nine, baby. The oil seems to be doing the Chaos Hound some good -- he's hardly trying the chew his flesh off at all these days. We put the oil in all their dog bowls, since it won't do any of them any harm. The dogs burp.

You really need to see agrnmn's impression of the Corgi's expression when she finished her first bowl of oil-enhanced food.