Paging Stony O'Brickerson

[saffronhare]

The entropic balance of this weekend's general awesomeness was borne entirely by the bricks and mortar on my front stairs, it seems. The mortar has turned to sand and the bricks are giving up the ghost as well. It's dangerous. I'm also pretty sure it ranks very high on the list of Least Helpful First Impressions* when one is selling a home.

This is definitely beyond the repair that generally helpful people might be able to offer. I need a professional. I've asked around for references, but figured the VURD might have some input too. Help?

*ETA: For the sake of some fun, I'm beginning to put together that list. Here's a start (in no particular order). Feel free to make suggestions (serious or otherwise) in comments.



Least Helpful First Impressions When Selling a Home

Front stairs impassable
Doorknob doesn't work/won't unlock (thankfully, that's been fixed IRL now)
A very bad smell
Blood on the walls
One or more naked people in the house (apparently, the not-helpful merits of this point are debatable)
Sword-fighting (or gun-cleaning) in the front yard
Bugs (especially in the kitchen), dead or alive
Used condoms, laying about
Knives stuck in walls, no matter what they've just carved
Standing water in the basement

Comments

[starwyse.livejournal.com]

Ashe does all modes of construction work. He's part of my extended circle and just moved here from Omaha, NE. I'll shoot you and email with his number.

S~

[diermuid.livejournal.com]

I remember a house hunt when I was Buddy's age. The house that got my highest vote for a good while was the one where the seller's teen daughter was in the shower and the announcement was made "We have some people in the house, so no popping out and giving anyone a show." I think I prayed harder that day than I had all month. "Please God, let there be bewbs. I'll clean my room!"

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

I'll be sure to pass that one on to princessboredom. Or NOT.

[diermuid.livejournal.com]

That reminds me, the guy who did Trevor's old house is likely available, expect to be CC:ed on an email in a few.

[lilia-blackbear.livejournal.com]

Bugs, definitely bugs. Especially in the kitchen.

Cobwebs in the corners.

Cigarette butts in the yard.

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

Bugs! Good point.

Note to self: It's almost window-opening weather again. Need to vacuum dead bugs out of windowsills.

[fionnabhar.livejournal.com]

Vats of hot oil tipping over the parapets.
Used condoms on the coffee table.
Pentacles carved into the front door with the knife still stuck in.

[capriciouslass.livejournal.com]

I thought the remains of a noose hanging from one of the trees in the back was a nice touch at one house I looked at.

[fionnabhar.livejournal.com]

Very welcoming and homey.

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

Big eyebolts in the ceiling and floor. We eventually figured out that they were for a punching bag, but our first thought was BDSM games...

Also, Standing Water in the Basement (true story, that happened in a house we looked at). Not Helpful.

[womanofsalt.livejournal.com]

toilet in the front yard...its a turn off every time...I couldn't even bring myself to go in and see if one of the bathrooms was missing one.